“Stay safe!” Family members in Elsewhere USA universally said as they checked on our proximity to the Armageddon-like fires on the news.
I know they meant well, but they’re unable to comprehend the immensity and score, no matter how many metrics I share. To the farmers, I shared the amount of acreage consumed (nearly 37,000 acres). To those who lived in urban areas, I cited the over 12,3000 structures burned. To those who care about critters, I shared a video that fostered tears as well as reverence for our firefighters. https://www.facebook.com/pat.jacksoncolando/videos/579588161650172
To those who’d visited here, I reminded them that it rarely rained on their vacation parade and that cloudless blue skies prevailed then as they do now. I replied to those who’d once lived here, “No, the gusty winds weren’t the mild onshore breezes you recall from your youthful surfing days.” The winds that drove the wildfires were hurricane-force, like the rains that recently swamped North Carolina. Finally, all humans should know by now: God and Mother Nature are mightier than anything man can do.
Survivor’s guilt and a pervasive sense of helplessness tug at my heart, mind, and soul. Add to this is the fact that my husband and I have fled fire twice when it neared our city, our house.
“Stay safe” is the kind of empty advice meated out to tearful women when their well-meaning men say, “Don’t cry.” It’s useless, insensitive, and incomplete. It skirts the emotions and dissipates an opportunity for connection. It offers no help for the victim – a person whose life is on fire – and no absolution for the one smothered in triteness. Often, the placation comes across as a put-down.
Finally, never give advice to a person who needs a hug.
And, specific to the recent wildfires, give cash (Charity Navigator recommends great, vetted nonprofits) and compassion.
Lot of good ways to give to the cause. My wife recently sent supplies for pets to Western North Carolina as they still need a lot of help there.
Thanks for your giving heart. I have a family member who is a crisis counselor there – the need is great!