May 7 question – Some common fears writers share are rejection, failure, success, and lack of talent or ability. What are your greatest fears as a writer? How do you manage them?
As I composed a title for my blog post, Hunter S. Thomson’s famous title, “Fear and Loathing” resounded in my head.
However, allow me to disavow any possibility of convoluted self-loathing taking up residence in my head or heart. Writing is an avocation, a creative outlet for me, so I can not let it sink my spirits. I could jettison this elegant hobby at any moment if I chose, which I won’t. It’s not a career – let alone something to fear. While criticism might rattle my cage – especially if it becomes a barrage – I don’t allow it to rock my self-esteem or cause me to quit.
Critique is another writer’s opinion and not to be taken personally.
That said, I’ve read my work aloud in a critique group or two and felt immense trepidation – especially when it’s the first time with the group. Especially in the beginning, when I was mightily cowed to not have achieved an MFA. Writing mentors consistently came to my aid, helping me to absorb the input and then re-write with purpose. Liittle by little, fostered by my willinging to attend every writing event I could and strong internal drive to achieve, I overcame (mostly) my fear of failure. Again, the endeavor was/is a hobby, and not my sole source of income and/or self-esteem.
I’m also married to “the best man alive” who loves me not matter what.
And so I sally forth, laying down words and learning to clues to unlock the inclination to write deathless prose. Lifelong learning is an ethic. Additionally, I am an avowed word nerd, so writing suits my skill set.
Other sources of validation that have reduced my fear and insecurity are the numerous awards that my books have achieved and the fact that my short stories have been anthologized many times! Yippee!
Plus, the hero’s journey is no longer jibberish to me.
Hi,
True, it is another writer’s opinion and not to be taken personally. It took me some time to realize that.
Shalom shalom,
Pat Garcia
Shalom, Pat. Shalom.
We learn to let that criticism help us not hinder us.
I learned to take note if several people cited the same thing and revised accordingly. Your statement is succinctly spot-on!
Lifelong learning is an ethic. I love this! Thank you!
thanks for your validation and sisterhood!
I really agree with Alex’s answer about letting a critique help us. I’m glad your husband is so supportive.
It’s great, as always, to hear from you, Natalie. Yes, my husband is supportive – he’s the best beta reader ever!! He’s honest and direct, but doesn’t ever denigrate my efforts. He’s a keeper!
I liked what you said about critique being another person’s opinion too. I sometimes have to tell people I critique that. Too many times have I found myself humbled because I gave someone a critique that the story needed a lot of work and then they went on to find success. So I don’t know everything either.
That’s wonderful to have a supportive husband! Mine is too, and he’s great at brainstorming ideas and finding plot holes.
Hurrah for husbands!
Critiques should never be taken personally. When I remove myself from the equation, I can look at a critique and always find something to be learned and improved, even if I don’t agree with the whole thing.
A loving and supportive husband is a wonderful thing.
I admire your ability to remove yourself, something I’ve had to work at – and I concur that a loving and supportive husband is a wonderful thing!