The Warm Blanket of Low Expectations

by | Mar 25, 2025 | blog post, Purpose

How many of these trite slices of advice have you heard, Constant Reader:

  • “Think Positive”
  • Visualize Your Success”
  • “Believe in Yourself”
  • “Just Do it!”

I’ve heard my share, especially during periods of extreme challenges. People may be well-meaning when they offer these words, but the phrases are empty, rendering them meaningless. They are hollow and devoid of empathy, too.

What if these well-intentioned mantras set you up for failure?

Recent research on mindset, intentions – and the downside of positive thinking – indicates that self-confidence can be undermined. I can relate because when I was amidst an extreme health crisis twenty years ago, I heard “Be Positive” repeatedly, and I felt put down. I finally replied with complete exasperation to one guy, “Have you met me?” in self defense.

Feelings are the truth.

One of the most highly regarded theories of success was formulated by Edwin Lock and Gary Latham. It’s name is Goal Setting Theory, which is, of course, known by its acronym GST. Their research indicates that the best approach to maximize success involves

  • consider the posibility and prepare for obstacles and setbacks… thus, you’re not blindsided when the inevitable happens and you don’t feel inclined to abandon your goals.
  • harness negative emotions like anger and envy… especially envy because, as you know, I regard envy as the source of all evil. Frustration, however, can be a powerful motivator if channeled correctly
  • diligently avoid daydreaming via a vision board you crafted for your longed-for goaletting, Fantasy-thinking is not a viable strategy for getting anything accomplished..

A better set of strategies might

  • begin with brainstorming about how to achieve one;s goal
  • next, utilize the power of relationships to achieve that goal
  • be honest about the money, time, and energy you’ll need to help yourself avoid hitting the skids
  • cultivate persistence balanced with flexibility (fostered by that brainstorming you did first)
  • finally, and likely more important than you’ve ever considered: monitor your progress toward the goal and pat yourself on the back as you move through the process.

Applause!