Fearing of public speaking is often cited as fear numero uno when such lists are made – and what’s more public that social interaction topped by talk. It might be true that everyone alive anxious about making small talk with other peeps…
Small talk doesn’t make me anxious but I do try to avoid it… it seems like an empty place holder for real and caring conversation.
People who avoid small talk believe those who excel at it are naturally charismatic or have been blessed with the “gift of gab.” Not so – that’s just envy’s opinion. Great conversationalists honed a skill set of rules and strategies they use when speaking to people, just like people who do improvisational comedy or acting have a set of rules to follow to establish common ground.
A well-honed sense of humor goes a long way in cultivating and keeping relationships, too. So does being well-read. Lots of topics primes the pump for being a voluble person.
Confident, sociable people make engaging with others look effortless because they have a strategy.
New York Times bestselling author and founder of the Maxwell Institute, John C. Maxwell’s strategy for whenever he struck up a conversation: “Within the first 30 seconds of a conversation, say something encouraging to a person.” This can work in any social or professional situation. It can also work with far-flung relatives when you see them at the obligatory family reunion – ask me how I know. (wink-wink)
Whether you are complimenting, relaying positive information about the person, or encouraging them, ply them with honesty, not flattery, please. Be genuine rather than fake, which may leach into your tone of voice and come off as condescension. You want to to draw people to you, not repulse them. You don’t want to be known as a gossip or a phony or a bore either.
Ultimately, a direct connection exists between being likeable and being genuinely interested in other people.
That’s the best strategy.
Recent Comments