A year ago, our expensive supplemental insurance gave us a free membership to LA Fitness, so I became a gym-rat.

That is not a lie.

My husband is my personal trainer. That is fact, too.

What’s also fact is that I’m a woman of a certain age: not over the hill, but neither striving uphill or coasting down. I’m using every weapon in the health toolbox to keep my mind as limber as my limbs.

But, oh the seriousness that prevails in the gym we attend. Men intent on busting their _____ (fill in with any body part you like) to prove something to the world – and to themselves.

These grim-faced dudes are tease-worthy, a prime target for a smart-___ (fill in any body part you like) like me.

That is a fact.

The club’s single elevator is the prime spot to verbally taunt them because they are trapped in a twenty-second ride from the weights floor to the main floor. The space inside the eleavor  is about 6X9, so that six hefty men could potentially ride at one time. But, usually, it’s only a single, sweat-drenched dude and little old lady me. 🙂

Thank goodness for male sports deodorants.

Dudes want to leave their work-out behind, clean-up, and sally forth to their jobs, or – in the case of my husband and his gang of work-out guys – to their leisure activities. They ride with inner focus, scanning to the to-do list of the day.

That is a fact.

Because I am a writer, highly creative, and as smart-_____, I have an exuberant array of ploys, teases and quips. That could be another blog post.

Today’s brief tale involves a well-muscled slight guy and me, a burgeoning-muscled mature gal He wore a black tee over his black shorts with his black swoosh-shoes. The block letters stated:


“I need that shirt for my work-outs”, I said with a wink.

“You can only have one if you’ve been in the NFL, ma-am,” he said with an indulgant smile.

“But I’m a writer. I lie for a living. And, if I wore that shirt… well, that would be a very good lie.”

Dude laughed and laughed and laughed. “Good one!” he said and then gave me a thumbs up.

Truly I am an NFL PLAYER. I am Notorious For Laughs.

That is not a lie. That is fact.