We had an awesome 1 1/2 weeks with a BFF who came to stay with us recently from Michigan. She observes my #1 House Guest Rule: do not hurt your host, my husband. She wouldn’t, for she was married to his BFF from high school. She shares Midwestern values of hospitality with a reverence for friendship with us. We have a reciprocal relationship and respect.

But back to the bad house guest posts. We’ve had some doozies who uttered dizzy things and/or behaved impertinently. Here are some of the lines that left us aghast over the course of 33 years of Casa Colando:

~”Oh, it doesn’t matter if you’ll be away when we come. Just leave the key under the mat.”

~”Did you know your freeways were crowded?”

~”Disneyland is wonderful. If I lived here, I’d go to Disneyland once a week. It’s really awful that  you don’t.”

~”Did you know that  your gas costs more than in _____?”

~”The beach would be great if it weren’t for all of this sand that gets in your bathing suit.”

~”Where are all the laid-back Californians?”

~”Twelve days is too long for us to be away from home….(when we’d given them free airplane tickets)”

~”Why is your yard so small? Don’t you just suffocate in it!”

~”I’d hate to live here with all these earthquakes. Did you know you have one every couple of minutes?”

In each of these instances we held our tongues,nonplussed. Do people leave their brains at home when they vacation?

Whaddayathink?