My father used to like to putter (my mother’s term) and he did it well though many years of retirement, relishing the busy-ness he alone could create, free of the demands and constraints of other people’s demands via work, but always guided by purpose. He was dutiful wage-earner until age 65, the sole breadwinner for forty years for a wife and four kids. He never complained, as far as I knew, keeping his nose to the grindstone with little time for hobbies as the family – and his financial responsibilities – grew.
I seem to have inherited the puttering knack, though I describe my dawdling, seemingly unpurposeful behavior as ‘dinking’.
I am my father’s daughter.
Others have shared that my father had the skill set to become a good engineer and I know that he applied to Purdue University, known throughout the nation for its excellent school. But lack of married student housing sent he and my mom to attend Indiana State, where he followed the path of my mother’s parents, to become a public school educator. My Aunt Marilyn, his youngest sister, also shared that he aspired to be a Disney cartoonist and to live in California, where he came to train when he enlisted. I’ve seen his drawings from his pre-marriage and retirement and I agree that he would have excelled. But he denied his aspirations, subrogating them to his love for my mother.
Here’s a family photo from the ’60s… he doesn’t look burdened, does he? Work-life balance existed, wrapped in family commitment and love.
I’ve written about my shared traits with my dad – and you can see a photo of us together when you click on this link: https://www.pjcolando.com/first-daughter/
I believe that, subconsciously, I longed for a better work-life balance than my 50s parents were afforded. I learned that if you design a life that feels like a vacation, you never feel the need to escape from it. Whether intended or not, my father’s life pattern led me to form my own successful and self-satisfying version.
I’ve been an accomplished dink pro my entire adult life, increasingly after I retired.
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