Apple products are known for their reliability and for holding their value over time. Each year’s release of the latest Apple product draws huge interest and causes its stock price to spike. Again. Apple products are coveted for their consistency.
My Apple Watch is a contrarian, belying the image and reputation of its parent company.
I rely on it to accurately count my steps, as I aim to increase the time I walk after knee replacement surgery. I rely on it to spur me on, to reward me for my exercise efforts.I rely on it to keep me on time for appointments and friendly meetups.
However, my capricious watch has me on a variable reinforcement schedule with its step tally.
It’s freaking in its inconsistencies. One day, when I walk our block, I’ve earned 5 minutes; the next, the same distance is credited as 1 minute. Sometimes it’s been tallied as 7.
It’s as if my watch is possessed by ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder).
The face I’ve selected is Mickey Mouse, echoing a watch I purchased while working at Disneyland one summer between my sophomore and junior years of college and purchased at the Park. It was a great conversation starter. I giggle as Mickie taps one of his feet to mark the seconds, looking as if he’s impatient.
Like me.
The number of steps from mark to mark is tallied unreliably as well. On Monday, my watch tallies 8 steps from my bed to the kitchen coffeemaker. On Tuesday, it might tally 27. Same distance, different number. It’s dizzying.
My Apple Watch can be set to mime Mickey’s high pitch with varied cheerful greetings.
I shut him up. Who wants to hear from an unreliable narrator of one’s day, night, and in-between…
That said, I’ll keep the watch:
- It reliably keeps the time.
- It’s a novelty watch, still drawing comments and starting conversations.
- Replacing it would be expensive.
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