My inability to thread a needle, a task simply accomplished throughout thousands of hours of sewing tasks, is harassing my patience. Thank goodness I have little need to do it other than replace the occasional button or repair a garment’s hem loose threads.

Don’t attempt to be helpful and suggest that I don cheater reading glasses on my corrected cataract eyes in the comments, please and thanks. I’ve done that after thirteen failed attempts to thread the needle.

Should I blame the thread?

My husband, the semi-craftsman, who formerly reveled in yard and household chores, has hired a handyman recently for simple chores that had nagged him (Not me – he’s a self-starter who doesn’t need needling).  He merely decided that the checking account was plump enough to override his frustration and amplify his retirement leisure.

I believe I need to tag onto his inclination and hire partime assistance for tasks like threading a needle. Disclaimer: this isn’t a modern day application of Jesus’ famed statement in several gospels that it was easier for the rich to pass through the eye of a needle than to get into the Kingdom of heaven. Remember that the crux of the matter is that 1. I have difficulty with threading a needle, 2. I’m not a camel, and 3. I feel assured that I’m heaven bound.

Would you like to apply for this dismaying, disheartening, distressing but necessary task, Constant Reader?

If you do, then I can go read a book and/or take a nap, as retirees are wont to do…