The brass was coming for a visit and the branch manager wanted to impress…
And so, she ordered a sheet cake, to sweeten their evaluation of her skills.
Royal blue icing slathered thickly on the top and down the sides of the cake, with the branch name written in script that pranced around the corporate logo on top. She would certain the brass would be impressed by her celebratory gesture and that she’d get a generous pay raise.
The woman was single, devoted to her fluffy tabby cat. She loved it so much that she brought him to work, emotional support for a stressful job, she rationalized, Because it was outside policy perameters to bring a pet to work. He also obliged to wear the glasses she required to read spreadsheets, but was too vain to wear when others were in the office.
He usually cat-napped in the knee hole of her desk and no one was the wiser. The cat ate fancy cat food out of the can, opened noiselessly with a tiny opener she kept in her desk’s top drawer. All went smoothly for months, each content in each other’s company. The cat never once walked on her keyboard, as others’ cats reportedly did, so he never over-wrote her monthly reports.
But the cat had a thing for sweets… And so,
His nose led him into the break room where the cake was esconced on the tabletop, ready to shown off, and then imbibed by the brass. She intented to impress.
The sassy cat was impressed and had a different intent.
He circled the cake several times, tail swashbuckling the air like a sword, sizing up the possibilities. The scent tantilized his nostrils, his whiskers twitched, and soon he could stand it now more. He sat – splat – at one end of the cake and butt-scooted across the top, Then, he sauntered into the outer office and began licking his blue ass contentedly, interrupting the manager’s presentation to the brass at its climax.
Yes, the cat helped the manager make an impression, but, but, but… his butt scooting stunt conquered her prose.
And so, rather than be promoted, she was fired.
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