I’ve been a card-carrying member of the Apple tribe since 1984, back when there were floppy discs. By card carrying I mean I’ve forked over massive amounts of cash to purchase the out-of-the-box-ready-to-use Apple via credit card… I must confess that sometimes I’ve longed for a how-to manual in the box. Sigh. Thank goodness, my IT guy is an Apple loyalist, too. He’s become a dear friend because, while Apple charges beaucoup bucks, he doesn’t.

This Christmas my allegiance moved up a notch via my Apple Watch…

Long ago I was a Disneyland loyalist. I wore a Mickey Mouse watch on my wrist for years. I was known to giddily imitate Mickey’s posture when anyone asked me the time. It was giggles and shenanigans, a way to lighten up life as well as a remembrance of my stint at the park, “the happiest place on Earth.”

However, Apple has upscaled Mickey when you select his image for your watch face. Not only do his arms move to mark the hour and minute, but his foot taps to mark the seconds one is alive. The effect is that he looks impatient despite his happy countenance.

An automatic tally of my daily steps – and a command to stand rather than sit for lengthy periods of time, such as when I write or binge-watch Netflix is great. There’s a chime every time I receive a phone call, a text, or message. There is no way to silence these chime, like one can on an Apple iPhone, which also filters spam.

At times the watch can seem intrusive and/or imperative. More like a Nazi than a Mickey. While I know that a walk mandate is good for my health, I’m not always ready to stand-and-deliver on Mickey’s timetable.

I’d prefer to be the boss of my life and not beholden to my Apple Watch.

I promise that I’m not adhering to elitism because I’ve joined the Apple Watch cult. I bought it for its health benefits. And, YES, I’m writing it off on my taxes. Uncle Sam should go along with my plan.

After all, I’ll live longer and prosper – and pay more taxes to him.