“I’m blonde; what’s your excuse?” says my license plate frame.

If you believe that, you are the dumb one and not me.

Get it? Perhaps it’s a writer thing, a precision vocabularist’s tic. Think about it. I’ll wait.

I am a supremely accepting person, with open interest for diverse people and things – I love to grow and learn. But there is a boundary for those who wish to be my friend:

You must believe that I am a natural blonde.

Because I am.